So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
