i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize