Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
