Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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