absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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