I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Two words: nipple clamps
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