i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
