I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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