yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
