dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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