Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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