We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
