It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
