is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
