Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
