ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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