It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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