She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
