i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
