My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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