Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
