remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
