Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Hippo gnu deer
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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