i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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