Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
