i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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