just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
