Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
