He is an equal opportunity slut.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
