I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
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But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
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Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
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