singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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