Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I smell like Dick and happiness
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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