He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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