we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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