Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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