You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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