Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
