She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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