We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
