once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
