I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
