she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
