i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
