Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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