she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
