I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize