I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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