i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
this boner is exhausting
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
