I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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