How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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