NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
