It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
