just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
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I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
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Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.