smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
