remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
